She's taking back her life
And only now it's starting to hurt
Every smile has to be paid for
Every touch, every word
Every molecule removed
And all her strengths must be turned against me
All her acuity and edge
Her silence and her deliberation
Honed like a knife
I see her take that knife
Heartsurgeon neurosurgeon
Without anaesthetic
She cuts her eyes out of my eyes
Her face out of my face
It's really beginning to hurt
Cuts her chest out of my chest
Memory by memory
She takes back her life.
She performs the operation perfectly.
She's practised it on herself.
And when I look in the mirror
All I see is the shape of her vanished face
The darkness where her eyes were
The old heart pumping failing
Gushing useless blood...
Look at it all. Here it is...
Out through those arteries
Which no longer are attached.
She doesn't leave scars. She doesn't leave fingerprints
She doesn't leave anything.
She's a good surgeon, the best.
She's practised on herself. Peter Jukes 1998